That house of cards

A change is as good as a holiday. Well for most people it is but at the end of my day I think I have realized that a change isn't that good.

Routine, Routine, Routine... Almost as good as Location, Location, Location.. "So Sir, Would you like to buy this lovely outdoor deck located on the Sydney harbour bridge ? The view is great.."

Well when it comes to borderline it is, that's routine, not buying a bridge or so they say over at borderlinepersonality.ca anyway here is a bit from the page

"Learning to implement structure into your thoughts, actions and words is the bridge that those with BPD must cross in order to relate to others in healthy and meaningful ways in their adult lives. Ways that build instead of ways that tear down." (A.J. Mahari, August 9, 2001)

It is a good read made me sit back and have a think for a few seconds, so if your interested head over there and have a look.

Aghh those bloody flies are buzzing around, killed 4 in the last couple of minutes.

Man I feel so I don't know.... Vague, lost, empty, hollow cant the right word to describe the feeling I have, it is sort of this hollow empty feeling that started in the pit of my stomach a few minutes ago and then proceeded to jump up in to my head and rip my soul out and shit all over it. Sort of reminds me of the "Simpsons" episode where Bart sells his soul to millhouse and then the automatic doors at the quickiemart wont open.

Maybe I should ask my Phych tommorow if they have Internet and send them to this blog to read about me, I hate talking about it so this might be better, or I could just cache the site to the laptop and take it with me ? anyway where was I... Ahh thats right Routine.

Maybe I need to change my routine, set up a schedule for me to follow during the day, Map out my life but it all seems like to much hard work, I like being varied sometimes, it opens up my life experiances. It makes me feel more complete to be able to understand something. I may not be able to debate a topic well enough to convert someone or even be able to explain a concept that I understand, but that isnt what this is about, it is about me understanding it, if you want to read it your self, you may need more/less background to understand the same topic. My aim is to intrest people in something and create a drive for them to follow it up themselves not to educate them.

So much for routine, the way this post jumps around even I have trouble following it....

SIgh A bloody NORA